One of the lovely pieces of media I have been introduced to in the last year is Shrek The Musical. (I know, I know, I’m more than a decade late to the party, but what’s your point?) In the play, there is a moment where Shrek sings about how inadequate he feels in his ability to express his feelings to Fiona. He sings:

When words fail, will I fail, too?

Language has always held a fascination for me, but I have always been aware of its limitations and inadequacies, for as long as I can remember. I have felt this more acutely in the last several years, and more than ever in recent months. There have been so many moments where I felt words have completely failed me.

The ability we have as human beings to communicate with each other is astounding. Breathtaking, really. But it also falls ludicrously short. I could write thousands of words to try and bring you into my head in a given moment, but it would never fully be able to recreate my experience–and of course vice versa; it is impossible for you to fully bring me or anyone else into your experience. We can get close. Really close, even, in the hands of a truly gifted artist. But the reality is, words fail us all the time.

When that happens, to me or to you, my idealistic (maybe even naive) hope is that we can give each other the courtesy and patience to work towards understanding. It takes effort, but the only way words truly fail is when we stop trying to use them or when we forget that they still have power, however inadequate they may feel.

It’s funny, I write that now, and I’m not sure if I actually believe it. I think I want to believe it. I want to believe that a true desire to understand each other is all that we really need. Maybe wanting to believe that is enough?

One thing I can say is that if you, like me, have felt that particular kind of pain that comes from an inadequacy to express what you are feeling, you’re not the only one. And, whatever lies ahead of us, I hope that words fail you (and me) a little less often.